Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
