Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
