turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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