I wanna bring you to show and tell
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
