yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
