Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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