when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
