Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
