Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
