He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
