my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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