Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Randomize
