I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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