fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize