How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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