I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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