It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize