what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
