So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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