Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize