You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize