just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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