The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
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You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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