I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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