all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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