i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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