She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is Oprah even human
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
