I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i now understand why vodka
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
