no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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