who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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