Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize