Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
