I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
