I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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