So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize