so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
