I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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