I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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