And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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