Dude my mom stole all your condoms
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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