did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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