just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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