he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
