found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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