I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize