this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm both gender and math confused
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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