my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize