just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm both gender and math confused
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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