It's Friday. Sex?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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