so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
