This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
