just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
