I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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