Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
