did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
