and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Michael Bay diarrhea
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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