i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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