I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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