fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
