It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
