that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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