did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
