I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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