i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
