the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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