What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
