you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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