This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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