We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My orgasm happened in two different decades
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
