omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
