you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
