Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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