We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
