come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
