I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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