Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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