Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize