Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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