this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
