Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
