We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
