She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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