I'm drive I can fine osifer
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
