There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
